"Rita Clef’s compulsive face twitching is an indicator of a mess nearby, and she won’t stop until it’s taken care of. The best birthday gift she ever received was her grandfather's guitar and a lifetime supply of Purell though squirting it around at school to disinfect doesn’t increase her popularity, especially with the school janitor."

"Ren Clef gloats how he can slap and pop on the bass faster than anyone, landscape your bushes better than Edward Scissorhands and can clean out his nose in 5 seconds flat which tends to creep out the ladies. His false sense of courage makes him a good guy to be behind when trouble comes, just run when he ass gets beat because you’re next!"

“Professor Bob’s flatulence with hot females and neurosis of a hostile alien takeover doesn’t affect his musical genius or alertness when getting out of a troubled situation."

Bastard loser gets no respect. Everybody makes fun of him and always tries to prove himself to the generals. Though he earned his position, now he has to prove himself to the "Villains of Self Defence" that his small stature and stubbornness regardless can capture the Clef family.

The Clef's school bully. The leader of the Goon band and son of El Federali. Plays guitar.

Mother of both Clefs kids, she's very materialistic and overprotective of her kids, but tends to spend money she doesn't have on manicures than put food on the table.

Father of the Clef kids, the real alien from the planet "Clef". The music star charmer that escaped his planet from oppression appears in the first chapter then is assumed missing, but will play a significant role in the future of the story.

Kolor Deep is female 12-year-old gifted Indian Jazz Pianist. Bestie to Rita Clef. Has a pet calf but really want to sacrifice it to Ganesh and eat some filet mignon. Her dress is made out of cow skin. Addicted to curry beef burgers (but her culture forbids it), doesn’t use deodorant, hates Bollywood music but whenever she hears a tune she can’t help but do the lightbulb dance, it’s ingrained in her DNA.

Drummer bestie to Ren Clef. Thinks he’s black, sucks at math, and the most insecure, cheap, freeloading Asian Pinoy ever.

El Federali's logical loyal patsy will do everything he say's and worships at the little feet of El Federali which can lead to an unusual relationship if you know what I mean.

Sister of Ma Clef, helped the Clefs escape the Feds, loves cooking but can but a bit of a big mouth and likes to point out others mistakes.

Wisecracking neighborhood cholo is the guy you can always go to if you need anything not necessarily within legal reach. Hooked up the Clefs with their first ride that had a few bugs in it… Literally.

The nosey neighbor tends to poke her big hair and face in everyone's business.

The drummer of the Goon Band and obsessive hot dog fanatic.

Talented bassist of the Goon and strangely addicted to relish. Ewww gross!